Ran across a quote in another blog (Andrew Sullivan's on the The Daily Beast) that I thought was profound. It speaks to the complicated process of loss, closure and grieving. Here is the post from Sullivan's blog:
Jody Lynee Madeira unravels
it in Killing
McVeigh, a new book about the execution of Oklahoma City
bomber Timothy McVeigh and the aftermath:
First, closure is most affirmatively not what contemporary culture says it
is -- absolute finality, in the sense of such colloquial phrases as "over
and done with," "dealt with," "put behind one's self,"
"let bygones be bygones," "forgive and forget." Closure is
not a state of being, a quality, or even a realization. If closure exists at
all, it must be as a process, a recursive series of adjustments that a self makes
in response to external, often institutional developments. ... At some
point in our constant procession through response and readjustment, we come to
a state of awareness that can conclude an event in our lives. This point marks
are awareness of an ongoing stasis and is an ending of sorts, even if it is not
a "happy" one, even if sorrow, anger, trauma persist. From this
perspective, one's ability to state that there is no closure is itself a
closure.
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